Take with you in 2020 🖤🌹✨

I really have a great life, and I don’t express that enough. I am so grateful for all that I have been able to achieve in this life. The people who are around me, the times I’ve spent loving on myself, growing myself, evolving as a human, as a women, as a spiritual being. The way I’ve been able to change my view on life & make the best of anything that comes my way is a gift in it self. I am grateful for all but most importantly I am grateful for me. I’ve seen days people wouldn’t wish on another but I’ve also seen days people dream of. My glass is always half full, because something is always in it and I use it for what I need in that moment. I can go on and on, the one thing I want everyone to accept from this day on.

Let go. Allow room for more, more growth, more perspective, more vision, more empathy, more vulnerability, more laughter, more forgiveness, more self acknowledgement, more forgiveness and most importantly more self love. Give your life room to flourish, what you have is not all that you will have. Let go of the things that no longer serve your END GOAL, that’s the main goal.

Fear nothing, Acknowledge, & Accept.
You cannot change things that will happen, you cannot go back in time and change things that have happened. You can only control every moment that you are present in, remember that. Why are you reliving your past trauma, past hurt, past abuse, past rape, past assaults, past hardships, past financial burdens? You’re creating all this negative emotion in your own mind. Your mind is how you view the world, clear up some fog. YOU DESERVE IT. You deserve to be excited for the next thing, understand that life will always test you not on purpose but your self control and your inner peace is how you pass each and every time. YOU’RE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THAT. Live freely, live carelessly, live like a bird in the sky wondering its surroundings. Live logically, live considerately, live respectfully to the things you find give life back to you. LIVE to your standards of happiness, only.

Forgive and move on. Forgiveness isn’t saying the person was correct, the situation was deserved. Forgiveness is telling the inner you that you’re sorry they had to experience that situation because you understand that you cannot control anything outside of you, you can only control what you accept from that day forth. And now with that experience you’ve grown a new sense of I got you, to you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re in acceptance of a incorrect situation forgiveness is accepting that you cannot change what happened but you can change what is about to happen. Promise yourself to hold yourself to a higher standard, because you’ve learned something from everything you’ve ever had to over come. Move different, get different. 🖤

Lastly, honestly just love. Fuck the bullshit, keep it pushing and just love. Your heart doesn’t deserve the burden of your mind holding on to things you cannot control or change. Stop torturing yourself, acknowledge and work towards positive logical solution toward happiness again. Be happy or walk away. Walk out of hell and welcome to heaven on earth. 🖤✨🖤
You are the universe, as a creator.
Make your art.

Raven-Lewis. 🌹

Enjoy nature more, feed your soul honey.

Raven-Lewis: The Year of True Freedom. ✨🥂

2020 The Year, of True Freedom.

I didn’t feel the way I thought I’d feel when the new year hit. The way that i imagined it, was way behind the actual opposite of what I saw happening for me. After such a big year of change for who I am as a person, a women, a creator or, a family member & friend. I didn’t see the physical result in front of me, in celebration. 

It finally hit me, what I knew all along, I just wasn’t aware that it was my turn to see that everyone has their own reality, so perception is based off of that persons experience with life. And that, I could never take personal, as that has nothing to do with me, so it shouldn’t affect me in any way.

I’m more open, so I’m more receptive. It’s a beautiful thing seeing other people happy, when you’re actually happy. And I’ve found that I shut down, when people are unhappy. 

I’ve grown this habit to block that energy, out completely in my reality; protecting myself from allowing me to get to the point of shutting down. 

The day went on, the new year came and still I wasn’t physically experiencing that big moment. I’m cleaning up my room, after connecting back spiritually and some how end up finding my planner from 2019. Seeing this, I was excited, I thought it was something else I had been looking for. Little did I know, it was exactly what I needed.

 It was a reminder that the celebration is all in me, reflecting on the way I began one of the best years of my life; was a reflection enough on how I am literally physically experiencing the damn celebration. 

I’m excited to start sharing my happy moments with the people I love, and being more free without the fear of being hurt in any way. That has really held me back for years, but this baby!! It’s a new year!!!!!! HAPPY FUCKING YEAR!!!!! This is it! So living my life only counts, if I live out loud; welcome Raven-Lewis. 

Raven-Lewis. 

Food for thought: open marriage, cuckold, polygamy

So the conversation came up, as some guy asked me if I was straight or bi. Being me, I responded, “what exactly does that have to do with you?” I had a whole attitude already, being on guard. For some reason, the more free I find myself, the more I realize how possessive men are when they feel entitled to you, and for no reason might I add.

 Anyways, he responded, “a lot of bi people don’t want marriage or children.” I literally was like “damn is that what people think about bisexuals?” He pretty much said, that has been his experiences, which honestly I couldn’t even take away from him. As a bisexual myself, I can say I’ve dated women in Highschool, but after I had to break up with my girlfriend at the time, because she was pissed that I called her at 12:05 instead 12 on the dot for her birthday; even bough I set a fucking alarm. I just never dated another women after that. 

I also starting thinking about possibly wanting children, at the time,I couldn’t see that with a women. Which made me think about my view on my sexually being muted because I didn’t see such a life being possible. That’s a whole different conversation in itself I think should be had but anyways! 

I don’t think people realize that, you can be with one gender at a time, i did for years, I married a man. Although that didn’t work out, and everyone’s experience is different! I didn’t realize how closed minded, I myself was. 

So, as the conversation goes on, I literally became so intrigued!!!! He asked me, “since you’re so free spirited would you get married to one guy if you are free to date?” Now I’m clutching on to my pearls. He goes “would you force yourself to be with one person?” He then lead to tell me that he was dating a girl and didn’t mind her stepping out, as long as she was happy, and they were happy; she just didn’t want to get married or have kids. 

The conversation went on with me asking a thousand questions about how would he expect to have children, and be happy together, etc all the questions you have lol I had! THEN, hold on tight because he randomly low key was like, “ well I do have a little cuckold fetish” i googled that shit so fast! 

NOW THE REAL QUESTIONS BEGAN! And as he answered all my questions, I started to think like wow, what if I have just been closed minded my entire life to what would be ideal for me, instead i was unknowingly molding myself to meant the idealist reality of others; that literally has nothing to do with me because my life is mine. 

Now tmi, but I know I am not the only women who has had some crazy ass fantasies that seemed unrealistic for one way or another. That got me thinking, why wouldn’t you want to be with someone who would accept your journey for your own. 

At this point in my life, im learning so much about me. All I want in this life is to be a mother and have a family with a man who is happy with himself, his life, who he is and I the same. We come together and love each other for who we are, not changing but loving another human on their journey in life. That’s when I started realizing that we praise one man and one women, so much that so many people are sexually miserable, emotionally miserable and etc. along with a bunch of other shit. 

I’m not 100% set on how I feel about this just yet, but I can say the Dora the explorer in me has awoken! I never would’ve been this open minded before but I am so intrigued and really thought I should share Incase anyone feels this way in one way or another. 

The dude literally just wants a normal family life, works life, balance and honestly. It’s weird and different but eye opening and interesting. Conversations with strangers are always the one to pay attention to. You speak more freely when you feel free of others standards. 

I’ve only ever dated guys that felt the need to be passive aggressive with possessiveness, that has always scared me, so this is interesting. Who says you can’t live in your fantasies with someone who wants to live in them with you? 🤔 food for thought! Have a beautiful day. 

after losing 100lbs, I’m learning it’s okay to be sexy.

Tapping into my sexuality, has opened a door for me that I never consciously realized that I closed, and how much that affected me. How confidence allows you to present yourself, in the world. The way that I carried myself in some sexual encounters. The lack of confidence in speaking up for myself, has been a world wind of a journey to realize. 

I started this whole process literally without even knowing, I’d started this summer when I got in a Uber, on a day that I was super proud of myself. To the time this past summer when I spent over an hour on a Uber not having a clue as to where I was going. To showering naked in Hawaii with no one but nature looking at me, and that made me oddly amazing. Then moving to California and wearing an outfit I never would’ve dreamed of. 

It’s funny how the little things, I want to do because of growing more confidence has allowed me the space to be more welcoming of the thought that I can be sexy. I truly never felt I had the right to be sexy, or even could be sexy at 300lbs & it’s stayed with me even at as low as 176. Now at 184 I am learning that sexy is how you feel, and that energy transcends. How another feels doesn’t take away from my sexy, I just don’t appeal to them. 

I started writing this book called “ why I can’t just have sex, with you. “ and in that book I lost all the reasons why I can just have sex with any male I’ve had intercourse with. No names, no dates, no times, no situation just a list of all the reason and that book in itself has taught me about my sexy and feel comfortable enough to feel like I can totally do that. 

There’s so much about weight loss that people don’t talk about, it’s such a mental process. Staying stuck in the past is so easy to do, because a lot of the times we don’t want to acknowledge the truth. That takes forgiving ourselves for what we allowed and just being so down on yourself. My life is changing drastically and I am hoping to share more and be more open. 

the daily war within self; is one that needs to be acknowledged.

The only war we’re truly ever in, is the one of the mind. Not including what black men and women have to encounter in this world, that’s a total different conversation. This conversation is one about the wars we face daily, within our minds causing us to pause. Pause when we have the best ideas, pause when we find that we’re smiling to much, pause when we realize that we’re just enjoy life too fucking much! Why? Welp! I’ve come to realize that, I was the one doing it to myself.

I’ve come to acknowledge that anything I’ve come to face on this earth, truly is because either, it was meant to shape me, I allowed it, or I stood at war within my own mind, it was all in my head. How I viewed it. How you perceive life, is exactly how you will receive life. The way you look at things, the way you see things, the way you value things, the way you think, the way you hear yourself in your mind, thinking out loud, yet we manage not to mutter out loud.

That’s you, you’re in control of this ride. Can you stop certain things from happening? Sometimes you’d hope, I’d hope. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, and people are put in horrible situations. All we have is what we do after, how we think after, what we think of ourselves after, how we view the situation entirely. If you bleed victim, you become a victim. Just as, you are what you eat, you live how you think. So fix that shit, and alter this life into the most amazing beautiful fulfilling life you could ever live. Why not?

Raven-Lewis.