What in the actual fuck; Does one step at a time actually apply?

What do you do when you feel like you have lost your way? When you feel like your purpose has been hidden away in a part of you, you are no longer in touch with? How do you go on living a meaningful life, when there’s no meaning behind the things you do? How can you provide yourself with a conscious sense of happiness, when you just don’t feel happy? How can you do things with meaning, when everything feels meaningless?

Denial is a beautiful place to be when you’re in fact still in it. The ugly truth comes into play, when you step back and come to terms with the mess that has been created in general but the mess that you piled on because of being in clouds of denial. It’s like being in a fairytale, wandering the lands with no worries and no concerns but around every corner there’s another villain waiting to attach itself to you, some how you seem to miss those corners at the perfect time; until the day finally comes when you can’t ignore and or miss those corners at the perfect time anymore. The time comes when denial exits stage left and now it’s show time, but you didn’t get to practice all your lines or figure out where exactly you are supposed to be standing on stage. The pressure and the fears seem to be all the same, except the curtains don’t close when you freeze, there’s no one back stage to catch on and close out the show.

The show must go on, but what happens if you’re not even sure what show you’re on? When does life become something that’s easier to grasp? When does the way you view the world, and the way you would like to live in your world mesh and make senes? The way you view yourself should be all that matters, as a human we sometimes fall into a rabbit hole and the only way out is the climb out that bitch, dirt and all. The mind fuck of life does in fact not get easier, because there seems to be something that always pops up and test your ability to stay in tack. It’s the way you react, and the way you handle these obstacles that are indeed what determines the turn out. 

Balance in coming out of denial has o be the hardest thing to completely get a grasp on, especially when you’re so used to doing one thing at a time. Working on yourself as a person is a huge responsibility in itself, doing that while trying to take care of your other responsibilities can be overwhelming when you would like to just feel okay first. Having your decisions and mistakes knock you down when you’re already down is like piling on a bunch of rocks and seeing how many would it actually take to keep you down. ROLL OVER and knock them, get the fuck up and handle life as much as you can and allow the rest to come. You can only focus on what you can do, and not what you can’t do because that list may be to long and long lists can be discourgaing. 


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