The beauty of a goddess, only shows when she’s knows. For a long time, I knew I had cute features, but it was all hidden behind fat. Fat that I like to think of as, swollen-ness, is that even a word? Lol anyways!!! I was swollen for years, and for years it kept getting worse! Now that I look back, I can see that the more toxic people and things that I accepted and allowed in my life, the more swollen I got. The day that I started letting things go, people, situations, thoughts, including things about myself that were toxic, as well as my eating habits, I started shedding. And in shedding, I started unveiling and in that, I started to see how beautiful I really am, on the outside yes but mostly on the inside.
I realize that for a very long time, I allowed myself to be held back by, people I considered, friends, partners, family, thoughts, foods, the way I look/view the world, and most importantly, I cared to much about what people thought. That’s a shocker, if you know me. I definitely lived on the defense for too long, and it took me telling myself that I don’t actually give a shit, because people like that are just as damaged as I was. Damaged people hurt people, and damaged people create reality’s in their minds, that are real TO THEM. I was once one of those people, and the path and the journey that I’ve been on has given me some of the most amazing moments of my life. I did that. Me, by myself, for myself, with myself. Period.
I’ve come to a point in my life, where I’ve stopped putting other people first. I come first to me, always! I stopped making excusing saying, oh I have to be a good friend, I have to be a good daughter, I have to be what others expect me to be wit them, not acknowledging that I’m forming my reality to others needs. If it does not benefit me, and i do not need to do something for myself, I do not force myself to fall into anyone else’s “norm”. I honestly don’t mind being the bad guy, because taking things personal that I decide to do for myself, has absolutely nothing to do with me. And that’s just the truth.
Part two coming soon…