actually written 12/11 trying to catch up here!
I’ve been spending some time trying to figure out what is love, what I deserve from it, and what I think it should kind of be like. I’ve never actually with my own two eyes, seen a healthy adult relationship, without anger, damage, a guard up, and just lack of trust for that person with your life.
I don’t want that, I want love without bounds. I want friendship without words. I want a genuine connection to self and for ourselves. I deserve a love that makes my life better and easier. That’s not to say people don’t struggle and blah blah, shit happens but that’s not how it should always be.
I deserve a love that’s not split but United. I want the best for myself, which will have me wanting the best for you as well, and vise verse. So when one falls off, it won’t be for long because you will always be fighting for them too, just as much as they are fighting for you. That’s team work, that’s partnership, friendship, at its purest state of love. And loving someone!!!!!
I want positive conversation, honest communication without defenses. The family that I see myself having, I’ve never had with anyone. So it’s interesting to me the way I see things, dating, men, marriage, and father figures differently now.