Growth rarely ever comes from being in a happy place, and I truly believe everyone is put in certain situations so that they can feel, connect, and see the actual meaning behind things for themselves. For a long time, I’ve felt connected, to a world that made me feel alone. I took every situation, cried wolf and always needed answers to everything. I couldn’t let go, I couldn’t sit back, let things be, figure it out, and move forward. I needed answers, I needed them right away, and I needed them to be good enough.
I never realized up until recently that, there’s no such thing as good enough. This world is made up of complex human beings, that have been forced to close a spiritually inside of them, that forces them down a dark road, each and every time. I’ve fallen a victim to this, I’ve fallen a victim to ignoring my true self, and only caring about what other people have only told me, actually matters. We’ve become so selfish as people, we’ve fallen into this thought process of, this picture is supposed to be a certain way, and if you can’t give me that imagine, then to hell with you.
Some of us, have fallen into a path of these same emotions, but some of us are so in-tuned that we know better, so we stick around, because we are not taught to understand on a different level. So it’s hard to change that “ perfect imagery “ mind set. We just know, its more to the story, there’s more to life, there’s more to this world than just me. We’ve never been taught how to properly deal with these feeling. So it grows into anger and hate and frustration, of the unknowing. The unknowing to the knowing, is a rough pill to swallow. When you come from a place and or people, who do not understand this type of spiritually.
The door that opened this to my eyes, to what I’ve always known, but didn’t really understand why I knew, is a situation involving a man. So I will use that as my example. I will be getting into detail, and long story short, I hope this small moment can provide a better journey for some, a better way of looking at life for some, and just a little bit of growth we all need as humans. None of us have to live this life alone, so why should we?
I believe that you can find yourself with another, and still be purely you. There’s a difference in being a man/women and being a husband/wife. It’s two different roles we need to learn, to balance, but why not make the roads as smooth as possible? So let’s get started, keep an open mind, and enjoy.
I’ve always been shown, that a man is worthless, unless he has something worth providing. Yet we shut them down and put them down, for little things. And Yet again forget to congratulate, on the little things as well. Now I know for every single person that is reading this, providing = money. Ive seen what money and or lack of does to people, does to people who care for each other, does to people to love each other. I’ve seen men and women break each other down, because of expectations.
For example, I’ve been fathers bashed into nothing because of not being able to provide, in turn they run away. We’ve chased our fathers away, not thinking of the true importance of a father. As adults, we never remember or dwell on the fact that our dad didn’t buy us something, we don’t know that, that’s not our place as children. We remember the fact that he just wasn’t there, that’s what hurts and that’s was scars. That is also what we take with us, on this long journey called “ life”. I very much hope that as you continue, you finish reading this with an open mind.
Where does money come from? When was money created? Who benefits the most from money, being the most powerful thing in this world right now? Not one of us can answer those questions with ourselves as the answer. The ability I have to look pass, current “ importance is my power is amazing, and yet most certainly has been a curse at the same time. Only because I’ve never learnt to handle my thoughts and feel them and express them in a positive way.
This is all exactly why i am the way that I am, and if you can relate, welcome to the journey. Shit is about to get real, but what’s growth without pain. What’s is elevation with out being true to ourselves. Feel, breath, think, feel again, then decide what’s best. Without the doubt, the voices in your head, on what’s right for you, when only you can be you. That’s why all of them, are exactly the same, they not tryna change.
Back to it, ( now remember everything I’m saying is from experience, and that is the only way I can ever speak on something, is if I have experienced it. ) Growing up, I have seen and heard men be, humiliated, ridiculed , beaten down, made to suffer, stolen, made to be animals, amoungst their own people, their women, their children, their loved ones, and all of that solely reminds me of a time. A time when kings were stole from us, humiliated, beaten down, ridiculed, made to be animals. A time that, has been “ put in the past “ but have been turnt to, jail , death, cop murders, made them hate themselves so much, that they don’t even know what their value as a True King and as A Man, actually is.
Now I can’t sit here and say that I’m the easiest at showing this, but I’m one of the women on this earth, that see what you just read, and believe in every single one of my men, no matter what the situation is. Only because I know that, these men are ruin and hunted by chasing a piece of paper. That the white man has created to show “ power “. Our men do not feel powerful, they feel beaten down, ridiculed, lost, hurt, and embarrassed, because the system has made them feel like, pure shit unless they have money, yet are purposely building a system for them to fail. That’s why your man is always chasing something, no matter what the situation can create.
Now if you don’t see where I’m going with this, leave now because you will never be able to appreciate what I’m about to say. I value my black kings, in the way that they are able to provide me with protection, I value the way my black men ( because every black man is a king.) is, able to provide me with a knowing of no other peace in this world. I value my black men for being able to provide me with a friendship that will last a life time. I value my black Men for being able to provide me with the knowing of secure-ness, mentally, physically, and spiritually. The ability of providing me with knowing that I will, have the ability to use my gift of being able to create little princes/ prince. And knowing that they will know the worth they hold, the truth of securely and pure protect as a black women/man.
Do not allow this shit to go on anymore. Step back and look at the pureness of emotion that blossoms, before all the bullshit, we have no control of. Before the anger, the hate, and the control of being worthless unless your man has power ( money ). When you die, you can’t take none of that with you. So die with memories, safeness, closeness, protection, and a life worth living together until it’s over. Love to every single black King in this world, I hope that every women starts treating you this way.
Two is a threat, two of true power, oh baby, “nothing beats that”. Nothing can stop growth, nothing can stop beating that system and rising to the top, where we belong, and taking our people with us. Now that’s a life worth living, and creating. Being the best us, and the best part about is that we don’t even have to do it alone. That extra strength you need, will be looking right at back you, until you leave this world. Take that, live that, be that, and love that. Let’s be Queens, to our Kings and rise together, to provide a better life , for every single one of our little ones. Finding our true power, and over coming the power , of the white man.
So let’s join these men, in fighting through a life that was build for them to fail, and not knowing their true power as men, to be able to reach the top as well. To be able to reach any goal, without as much suffering, without feeling like alone is the only way, to achieve accomplishments. Ones that have taken from them and made life a millions times harder, because of a system. Any man that I love, I want to be able to be a safe heaven, and an forwarding elevation weapon, in reaching it all, without doubt, and worry, and stress, and death, and loneliness, with nothing or no one to be able to pass life on to.
And that’s why I don’t, look at money to determine a man in my eyes. I try to be that weapon, to make their journey easier, in making a life. Although while I can be doing the same exact thing, and feel as power as ever, with a black man. Who helps me, create a life of everything I ever dreamed of, with a heart of another pouring faith , magic and pure love back into me. How amazing would that feel? You can’t expect a man to give you the best life, if you’re not even allowing him to provide what he needs to provide for you as women to be a full blown Queen, not just a princess. Stop being stuck in moments, that we never remember anyways.
For us to be Queens, we need the true power and love from our men, our supporters, or protectors, our safe zone. In a world that has put us, in so many terrible and horrifying situations amd traumas. That slow down our growth as Queens to be the best we can be and achieve anything in this world. They provide that extra strength we all need sometimes. We kings and queens do that for each other. It’s not depending on someone, it’s being able reach up and grab that hand, without ever doubting that you will never fall, when you need to be caught.
This also is nothing against other races and black men, from being Each other’s Kings and Queens. This is also a message to every single Queen, to understand that every Black King needs a Queen, to get him to the very top, and we need a King as well. Power is twos is no joke, why you think they separated man and wife? But any how!
This blog will be my experiences with this reality, and how I have worked and been affected by all factors, and being able to still keeping the Queen in me a surface. I’m still human and I still, do unqueenly shit. So follow my journey, for advice, experience, venting, lessons and more! Also I hope this piece of writing, has helped you picture a better tomorrow, in any way that your better tomorrow looks like, with a a King So you never have to second guess, going for it all, as well. Life isn’t easy for any of us, but putting each other down, is only pushin us further down, from “ power”.